Friday, September 17, 2010
Time for a Turn Around
Just as I had decided it's a phase and I have to wait for it to end I changed my mind! Wednesday I just got angry. I got so angry that I felt like the joy of parenting was being stolen. I was so upset about how hard it's been dealing with Raeleigh's "issues". I just got so angry and I decided I wasn't going to take it anymore. Now mind you I've never been upset at Raeleigh for this. Even when I'm holding her and she's screaming in my ear and has been for what seems like forever, I'm never mad at her, I just want to fix the situation. Wednesday I started to cry. And I was ready to admit my weakness and that I needed help. It had been a hard day but I decided I wasn't going to yet again let it keep us going from small group. So we did and although Jake had to stand outside with Raeleigh the whole time I got to be in small group and I was so glad Iwas there. I knew it was exactly where I was supossed to be... God was speaking to me. So the next morning knowing I needed to do something I called the doctor, it was 8:37 and they asked if I could make it in by 9:15. I said yes and jumped up put on clothes, got Raeleigh ready and raced out the door. The doctor told me the approach I needed to take with her. It's letting her cry it out but still go in every so often to calm her down until she falls asleep. I had done this a few times before and let her go 50 minutes, an hour and 15 minutes and then the longest time an hour and a half. And it never worked, not even close. But he answered some questions I had about this approach so I said OK! I got home and I was ready to do it. The next nap it was on. I read all the scripture verses I needed to motivate myself. I put up post its throughout the house (ie. "You are not alone. God is here!") And then it was time... I put her down for her nap and I took a deep breath as I walked out of her room. God had given me strength to get through it and I was so ready..... six minutes later she stopped crying!! I couldn't believe it! I was ready for her to start back up any minute but she didn't. She slept for 45 minutes! I give God all the glory. He was ready for me to seek His help 100%. I had been seeking it daily but I don't think ever 100%. And He showed me He was with me. And He has every nap since! They aren't always long naps sometimes just 20 minutes. But she slept on her own for every nap yesterday and every nap today. Praise the Lord! Praying it continues and just gets better and better. God doesn't want my joy stolen anymore!